By Shariq Rafeek
Indian Twitter over the past one week has displayed an unsurprising ineptitude for handling stories on sexual harassment. And that’s when there are not one, but at least 5 different women who have spoken out about the sexual harassment they endured at the hands of Arunabh Kumar, CEO and Founder of The Viral Fever.
https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedIndia/status/841491578359304192
I’ve seen people Tweet on everything from the veracity of an anonymous blog post to whether or not this is a conspiracy by All India Backchod to defame a competitor.
I’ve also seen people trying to have a conversation about anything but what we need to be talking about right now.
https://twitter.com/anymysha/status/841294620218679297
Unlike Animisha, the collective consciousness often called the ‘Indian Twitterati’ will talk about anything but how men in power behave. And which side of the net the benefit of the doubt should fall on.
We Silence Women When They Speak Up
In case you didn’t read the meta-text in the above article, here it is again:
When a woman says she’s been harassed we want evidence to back that claim. A man says she’s lying, and that’s good enough for us.
When you don’t give the benefit of the doubt to a sexual harassment victim who comes out about their harassment, you not only trivialize their suffering but you reinforce the idea that speaking out doesn’t help. You also ignore the fact that speaking out is often dangerous.
We Forget What Lengths Powerful Men Can Go To
In a series of Tweets, Vália Babycats talked about how she was harassed at her workplace and how, when she complained, she was methodically silenced.
https://twitter.com/livetimefe/status/841507742510653440
Not only did her harasser get away, she was forced to write a letter of apology for speaking out in the first place.
The idea of forcing an apology out of someone who speaks out is as much a symbolic move as a strategic one. It’s your oppressor forcing you to acknowledge their power over you.
We Celebrate Abusive Men
The idea that successfully investigating and exposing powerful, abusive men will lead to them being punished is a common idea, reinforced by calls to follow what the Twitterati believes is proper decorum — report the abuser to the police.
Sadly, there’s no basis for this. Historically, powerful men get away with it.
Abusive men have lifted Oscars. They can be considered Godmen. They can be politically righteous (or ‘brocialist’). They can be ‘woke’. One even sits in the Oval Office, in Washington DC, where he is scrutinized intensely for his political acumen or lack thereof.
We Confuse Our Ignorance for Innocence
You’re only excusable for your ignorance if you don’t know better. That’s according to Aristotle, from more than 2000 years ago. But today, that scenario is the exception rather than the rule. As Henry Rollins puts it:
Even the people in your workplace who are supposed to have your back, don’t.
Do we still want women to stay off Twitter and Facebook unless they approach the authorities first? Why is our faith in the authorities unfailing when we ask someone else to go to them?
We Suddenly Become Champions for Legal Process
Apparently, when one doesn’t approach the authorities all complaints are invalid. Below is just one of many posts that make that claim.
https://twitter.com/bjp_live/status/841276002038816768
Powerful, abusive men thrive in an environment that makes abuse easy. Bystanders who are unwilling to speak out are an integral part of that environment. Victims not going through due process is a result of that environment.
Nearly half the women (44.2%) that HT spoke to, in this article, said they were threatened prior to filing an FIR. Still wondering why the women won’t come forward and pursue their charges?
Sure, ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is undeniably a part of the legal process. But if you see someone being stabbed right in front of you, would you wait for the legal process to take its course before declaring that the person was stabbed?
How about a dozen or more unconnected women calling out the same person for harassment?
We Remain Silent
That last sentence from Aditi Mittal’s Tweet is telling. What’s even more telling is the attention it hasn’t gotten. When someone from the comedy scene says this is an open secret, do you still need legal proceedings to run their course before taking up the cause of the victims?
What does it take for you to speak up?
We can stay happy by just ignoring anything negative that pops up in front of us. But as Sara Ahmed puts it:
“If our happiness depends on turning away from violence, our happiness is violence.”
Abusive men are thriving in a system where abuse is systematically executed and covered up. Whereas their victims stand against a wall of faceless observers who will wait for nothing short of perfect conditions to turn against the abuser.
We need to start listening to the women in our lives about how they feel at offices.
We need to start listening to the women at our offices about what’s okay and what isn’t.
We need to not interrupt women when they talk about this.
We need to give women the benefit of the doubt when they tell us they’re being harassed.
We need to get rid of the bystander effect that gives these men their infallible protection.
We need to stand up for women when we see harassment happen.
We need to make an environment that’s unsafe for harassers and safe for women.
What else can we do? For starters, each of those above points is a link. Read them. Share them.
And speak up.
Speak up against powerful, abusive men. Don’t cover for them, even if they’re mentors, family members, colleagues, or friends.
They don’t need your support. Their victims do.
[If you also want to make your working space safer for women, here are some links to organisations that can help you start a conversation about sexual harassment and workplace diversity. You can forward their contact details to your HR department.
Bangalore: Serein
Chennai: The Red Elephant Foundation
We’ll add more such organisations here. If you know of them, let us know in the responses.]
This piece was first published here. Shariq Rafeek is a game designer with Moonfrog Labs. He works on Alia Bhatt: Star Life. On weekends, he volunteers with U&I (uandi.org.in)