By Nisha Susan
On some days Vaanthi (though the crown jewel of human achievement) just doesn’t seem subtle enough to express what we are feeling. Calicut University, our new best friend, for instance doesn’t inspire nausea. It inspires a fine curiosity instead. We want to ask: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU SMOKING? Sorry, we mean what were you smoking, Calicut U when you decided to issue this masterpiece?
“Inviting nominations for Golden Mother Award. The University of Calicut is honoring with prizes, women who have secured superior achievements in diverse walks of life and have, alongside, fulfilled the responsibilities of motherhood in an exemplary fashion. Those who have made strides in areas such as social work, politics, government, sports, agriculture, industrial entrepreneurship, engineering, medicine, literature, art, research, law, police, banking, teaching at different levels will be considered for the Golden Mother Award. Individuals may nominate themselves or be nominated by others. The application form is available on the University website (www.universityofcalicut.info). Details of achievements in different sectors, challenges faced, and awards won must provided. The Vice Chancellor Dr M. Abdulsalam said that the institution of the Golden Mother Award was rooted in the fact that a virtuous society can be created only through virtuous mothers. Applications may be sent to The Director,Centre for Women’s Studies, Calicut University PO 673635, before 15 November. (relevant phone numbers) PR2212/13.”
We hear from a well-placed source that “This is an initiative by the Vice Chancellor to honour mothers who’ve done ‘meritorious’ work and contributions towards societal development and nation building! Another incident of the misogynist approach of the University. A committee has been constituted with Director, Centre for Women’s Studies as Convener and teachers & non-teaching staff as members for this purpose. The campus community has already registered its protest and women students are organising protest.”
Calicut University also recently announced that it would grant maternity leave to female students which is kind of genuinely, snark-free awesome. But we are (apart from being filled with feelings of virtue, motherhood and virtuous motherhood) curious about a bunch of things.
1. Will the children of the virtuous mothers be on the committee that decides the awards? Will it count that Mrs Nair, rocket scientist aka Mummy forced you to drink milk one day or kissed your boo-boos only once before heading to launch a PSLV? Or is it enough that Mrs Bashir, rocket scientist, procreated?
2. Will there be dancing or cooking?
3. How will anyone register the glow of the Golden Mummy or register a protest against the glow when all the university staff is on indefinite strike?
4. Will the Vice-Chancellor, The Women’s Studies Department and the Golden Mummies all be hanging out together in the new Rs 40 crore fat-cat admin block that Calicut University is reportedly building while also claiming it has no funds for water, electricity, telephones or the sanctioned strength of staff?
5. What edition of the The Second Sex did Dr Moly Kuruvilla, director of the Women’s Studies dept get from Flipkart?