By Sharanya Gopinathan
The Wire recently published filmmaker Apurva Asrani’s open letter in response to Karan Johar’s book, where Johar addressed his refusal to “come out”. When speaking about the issue during the session, he spoke about how he thinks that when celebrities refuse to come out, they push more people deeper into the closet. He took particular objection to Johar stating that he would be arrested if he said aloud “the three words” that everyone supposedly already knew about him (“I am gay”), stating that it is simply untrue that saying you’re gay can get you arrested. He said that a celebrity making such statements unnecessarily spreads fear amongst other gay people considering coming out themselves, and mentioned that society benefits from keeping people in the closet.
Vasudhendra took a minute to point out that while he agrees with much of what Asrani said, he also feels that it’s clear that Johar had come out to his friends and his family, and the refusal Asrani was referring to was a refusal to come out to the press, which is a different, and deeply personal decision.
Vasudhendra, who was smiling wryly throughout the entire session, also had a particularly intriguing experience to share about how deeply personal the effects of coming out, or not coming out, can be. He said that on the telephone, his voice was often mistaken for that of a woman, and that before he “came out”, it would disturb him when he was called “madam” on the phone. He said that once he came out, though, he actually enjoyed it, maybe even encouraged it a little, and that this, to him, reflects how liberating it is to come out, if for nothing but how it makes you feel about yourself.
The panel also discussed the vocabulary available to describe different sexualities, and how it seems harder to express certain identities in vernacular languages.
Vasudhendra pointed out that hijras have appeared in vernacular literary tradition through the ages, and consequently, society is very aware of them and has a vocabulary through which to access them. He said that he thinks that as more references to people of different sexualities are made in vernacular languages, as is starting to happen now, so their recognition will increase.
Gowthaman Ranganathan, a lawyer who works with several NGOs, including Alternative Law Forum and Orinam, spoke at length about what coming out of the metaphorical closet means. He said that in many cases, coming out is in itself a luxury for people who have spacious enough closets to begin with, and spoke of the many different kinds of people for whom coming out is never even a real option, such as effeminate men, or transwomen who’re already “out”, and often out in spaces that made them particularly susceptible to violence. In a poignant moment, he said that he understands why the gay community needs to see people coming out in public, and that that’s why he does it himself again and again and again in different situations, groups and panel discussions, but that sometimes, even he gets tired of coming out.
An audience member finished the session with asking about the bravery required to come out, and how that’s sometimes a luxury only available to certain people. Ranganathan was quick to point out that coming out in itself isn’t some kind of finishing line, and that people who choose not to come out certainly can’t be said to lack a kind of bravery.