Aditi Mittal, comedian and feminist, wrote a kickass speech about what it was like to work as a stand-up comic and about being one of the few girls on the block. Here are eight of the most funny and amazeballs things she said:
1. “I was asked to choose what I identified with more, being a woman, or being a stand-up comedian. Being asked to choose implies that if I am one I cannot be the other. I’d like to borrow a quote from a report released by the detachable-genital department of Johns Hopkins University, when I say ‘You can’t’.”
2. “I’d start my jokes on vaginal tightening cream by saying ‘I’m not a pervert or anything,’ when in reality I am a huge pervert. Today, I am done justifying myself.”
3. “[Journo asks] ‘So you’re a funny woman, they’re either considered crazy or sluts. Which one are you?’ I said ‘Both’.”
4. “I remember listening to an ad for a show I did in Delhi. In it, they described me as a fiery feminist. Coz apparently feminists who keep their cool don’t exist.”
5. “I was not aware, when I started out, that a woman doing comedy was supposed to be as rare as a monkey being able to quote Shakespeare.”
6. “I’ve said no to several interviews when they begin their story with ‘Well, you know, with all the horrible stories about women coming out of India today, yours will be a positive one.’ It horrifies me that the fact that I’ve not been left dead in a ditch with my head chopped off in spite of speaking my mind, is a reason to celebrate.”
7. “‘You’re only getting this much work because you’re a woman,’ others have stated. Again, not because I’m funny, but because I am a woman. In the past I’ve spent so much time crying in the St. Andrews auditorium’s ladies bathroom, that now, even when I go there to pee, tears spring to my eyes.”
8. “‘Beta lovely comedy, but…do your parents know that you are saying all these things on stage? Accha ladka kaise milega?’ His concern for my love life was heart-warming.”
Read it all!
February 18, 2014 at 7:23 am
imsabbah complete article is even more amazing awryaditi theladiesfinger
February 18, 2014 at 7:24 am
s_purba Hey gf, already read and linked yesterday itself now tell lol awryaditi OMG I LOVE YOUUUUU *shriek**hysteria*
February 18, 2014 at 7:25 am
imsabbah please we all know you did not lol don’t lie awryaditi
February 18, 2014 at 7:28 am
s_purba lol pls cannot able to laugh at you from afar come hither awryaditi
February 18, 2014 at 7:29 am
imsabbah I thought you called me hitler lol awryaditi
February 18, 2014 at 7:32 am
Apologies, world. I just verbed awryaditi.
February 18, 2014 at 7:34 am
s_purba
February 18, 2014 at 7:35 am
imsabbah that’s my favourite emoji
February 18, 2014 at 7:36 am
imsabbah s_purba bahahaha yhussssss Yougaise. Itna louuuu. *group hug for Hitler*
February 18, 2014 at 7:37 am
imsabbah so Sabbah-ed I feel miss.
February 18, 2014 at 7:37 am
awryaditi Whether you need a break from citeh lyf? Come to my villez. s_purba had been blacklisted, don’t worry.
February 18, 2014 at 7:38 am
awryaditi “Eight more reasons to Aditi.” Has a nice ring to it.
February 18, 2014 at 7:39 am
imsabbah awryaditi all you have to do is private show for Sabbah every evening
February 18, 2014 at 7:43 am
s_purba HELLS YEAH! We Sabbah like crazy every evening, till the early morn, break of down types!! imsabbah
February 18, 2014 at 7:44 am
s_purba HELL YEAH! We be Sabah-ing all night long, till the early morn,break of dawn. imsabbah
February 18, 2014 at 7:46 am
awryaditi imsabbah gayi bhains paani mein
February 18, 2014 at 7:48 am
s_purba Oh imsabbah is at a beach location? I thot it was villaze in mountains.
February 18, 2014 at 7:48 am
s_purba Dehaati muhaavray. Very good! I am reconsidering your application. awryaditi
February 18, 2014 at 7:49 am
imsabbah bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad awryaditi
February 18, 2014 at 7:50 am
awryaditi Ch’mon, Aditi. Even villez mountains have water and buffaloes. Put the two together and… Muhaavra! s_purba
February 18, 2014 at 7:50 am
awryaditi one buffalo in the village is there to fulfill prophecies and muhavaras imsabbah
February 18, 2014 at 7:51 am
s_purba That is more jungle cuisine muhaavra. Okay, we have jungle also. awryaditi
February 18, 2014 at 7:51 am
imsabbah Jessss. Jiski laathi uski bhains. s_purba
February 18, 2014 at 7:52 am
s_purba prophecy cow. I like it. imsabbah