By Shikha Sreenivas
Is the world crashing down around you because of your pimples? Has life lost all meaning? Do you feel betrayed by your current beauty products? Well, begin by taking a few deep breaths, because all is not lost.
Patanjali has a new line of beauty products out, for depressed pimple-ridden dull-looking women out there, who have been betrayed by our ‘unnatural’ products. Here’s a line of products made out of leaves and herbs plucked from the misty mountains by Baba Ramdev himself.
A latest Patanjali ad for Saundurya Swarn Kanti beauty cream, features two sisters Saundarya and Aishwarya. Saundarya is sanskaari one and Aishwarya, the “bindass, wanna-be type girl”, explains the narrator. That’s us, of course, because we are “bindass, wanna-be type” girls as we fail to be Patanjali-Level ‘Sanskaari’.
So what happens to these two beautiful sisters, who represent the two ends of the femininity spectrum? (Remember everything is a binary in this world.) As time passes, Saundarya’s face continues to shine, but Aishwarya’s face becomes dull. Now, the bindass girl is worried, because nobody likes her face that is full of pimples. And, of course, when a few pimples appear, is there anything else girls would care about?
Baba Ramdev knows best that our entire existence depends on our faces. And poor Aishwarya, tries to save herself by wearing more makeup, the wrong kind (unless it’s Patanjali Kajal, then okay).
Cue the betrayed sweep of her hand across her table, pushing down all her existing un-sanskaari products. Cue the helpful hand on the shoulder, bringing forth Patanjali’s new product. Aishwarya turns to find the pepresentative of sanskaari, Saundarya standing before her. She realises the importance of sanskaari (we’re really drilling the word into your head) and they both turn into Patanjali-using sanskaari women. All of life’s problems have now been solved. And with that, our one single long battle with pimples and acne comes to an end.
As always, Baba Ramdev has the answer.
And the one where he journeys to the heart of nature to save us from pimples.