By Sneha Rajaram
What with the RSS’ most unimaginative move to get a 1,000 Muslim women to tie Rakhis on them, we thought we’d show them there are other ways to observe Raksha Bandhan too. What if, instead of these smooth political moves, each Swayamsevak wrote a nice limerick instead? We’re setting an example here.
A boy and girl were kissing in a park
And were caught by right-wingers after dark.
They said: “Marry!”
“Or tie the Rakhi!”
Which quite put out that poor couple’s spark.
There was once a boy who thought his sisters
Were profoundly irritating blisters,
Till a skin allergy
To one of their Rakhis
Persuaded him sisters are sisters, and blisters blisters.
There was once a woman went to the post
And sent a Rakhi from coast to coast.
So sharp were its sequins
That they bit the postman
And he died of tetanus, almost.
There was once a girl on OkCupid
Who found the spam in her inbox very stupid.
And so on Raksha Bandhan
She declared all the boys her brethren
Which greatly relieved that girl on OkCupid.
There was once a school boy from Panjim
Whose crush tied a rakhi on him.
Such a romantic was he
That he burned the rakhi
And poured acid on his wrist skin.
There was one a feminist from phoren
Who didn’t observe Raksha Bandhan.
She declared the rakhi
A symbol of patriarchy
Which baffled all those poor NRIs in phoren.
There was once a miser from Chennai
Who couldn’t wait for August the 29.
When asked why,
He said, “Cause I–
Will save on gifts come Valentine.
There was once a door to door census taker,
Rather too stressed for a mere survey maker.
On Raksha Bandhan Day
He dreaded the survey
For he couldn’t tell the real siblings from the fakers.
It’s your turn now! Send us your Rakhi limericks, fingerzine AT gmail DOT com.
**UPDATED! Here are the latest limericks from you, crazy readers.
From reader Maina Sahi:
There was once a brother 12 years younger,
Whose sisters were his protectors and funders.
Yet, come Rakhee still, the world would instill;
That they “thread” him the “protector”;
That he, with no own income, claim their “provider.
From reader Anuradha Sridhar:
There was once a class of 40
Neatly divided into 20 and 20
“All must participate”
Rakhi united them all 40.
From reader Paromita Vohra:
The comrades of a boy from Hindu Mahashakti
Insisted he rakhify his girlfriend Bhakti
To his everlasting joy
Bhakti’s gal pals arrived
And told his comrades Shettup. Yeh Rakhi Nahin Ho Sakti.
A girl from Powai, called Kishmish
Made her maasi aesthetically squeamish
“Maasi I can’t get no mojo on
So Maasi had to tie a Doraemon Rakhi on Kishmish.
From reader Shubhangi Joshi:
There was once a world too blind to care,
That sisters and brothers are an equal pair,
Both are strong
And they walk along,
So, two rakhis, not one, let’s wear.