The week ahead beckons,
and we need to be ready for it to feel right.
For our specially feminist horoscopes, our resident tarot reader Madam Zeenat reads the New World Tarot Deck, which envisions a world where justice relies on respect and revolutionary love. And this week, the tarot images are from The Hardy Tarot Deck.
July 4-July 10, 2018
This week, Madam Zeenat discusses marinating a crab, making plans, flying with Finolex fans, how to best use your motormouth and urges to argue and compromise.
June 22 – July 22
Crab-aachi, have you ever cooked and eaten marinated crab before? It’s delicious af. Although, I like cooking it more than eating it. Unless someone helps in de-shelling while I eat it (which is why I love crabcakes the most). Coming back: So cooking a crab involves just cracking the shell at random points, dousing it in your choice marinade and letting it be in the refrigerator overnight before cooking it.
At the end of this week, Crab-aachi, Venus is going to make an entry into your life a la Shah Rukh Khan in Dulha Mil Gaya, bringing love and flavour (and maybe some money too). But after last week’s depresh, we need to prep for Venus just like you need to marinate a crab warna the coming week just won’t taste right. Crack your shell, marinate yourself in love and kindness and wait for Venus.
The 2 Of Wands is here to help you find your deepest truth and deepest wound and open them up to a marination of love and flavour. It’s a good time to ask yourself, what is it that you love about your job that is making you continue working. In relationships, think about who in your life helps you love unconditionally and what are the scars that stop you from loving unconditionally.
July 23 – Aug 23
Sheru, this is the week you go back to being a cub. You should be lazily lounging and playing under the sun after a good meal that someone else got for you. You should be thinking and planning about what it will be like when you grow up and become a sher again. Mercury square with Jupiter make it a great week to make future plans.
The thing about plans is that they never really work out the way we fantasize about them. Especially when we’re cubbing about with our stomachs full. Sometimes it’s the inability to focus and other times it’s just that flights of fantasy don’t really follow any physics. When I was a young and career-minded individual, I asked a friend to help me plan my future. She laughed and said, “Don’t make plans. Think of a general direction and float towards it.”
The Prince Of Wands, who is most famous for hanging around in dark alleyways and random nooks of a forest, where the people who are most lost are found, has found you. He will help you make a torch and a compass that help you find the direction you seek, to help yourself grow.
Aug 24 – Sept 22
Virgins, it’s time to get laid! Sorry, I just couldn’t resist making that joke. But seriously, Venus trine Uranus (I said, seriously, okay?) means your charm is on full power, your personal beauty is at come-hither levels of awesome, aur popularity ki toh baat hi mat karo. Doubles players, be prepared to get attention, tenderness and (heehee) sexperimentation from your partner. Singles players can expect to open an arousal ki dukaan.
Work is going to be full of opportunities to make money. You can experiment by starting a betting pool in office. It can be about anything: sports, sales numbers, social media stats or even a spread on when that idiot who annoys everyone by trying to micromanage people outside his team too is going to get screamed at.
The 4 Of Wands is here to remind you to live every day of this week like it was the first day of the rest of your life. This is the week you rise above everything that’s been holding you down with the sheer power of the charm that Venus and Uranus have given you and the breadth of enthusiasm given by The 4 Of Wands to share with everyone you work with and love.
Sept 23 – Oct 23
Libbu beta, so how entertaining and thrilling was last week? Did you enjoy the bouquet of Michael Bay explosions around you as all the negativity set fire to itself and you walked through it all, unscathed? Good. Then this week is going to feel like rebirth and the you that has been tucked away for a while, afraid of revealing yourself, is going to meet the three I’s — intention, inspiration and ideas. And even if you managed to get a little burnt, don’t worry, those flames will only help fuel this week or keep you warm.
The cards send you The Ace Of Wands to help you make the most of this week. You will have all your energies and enthusiasms renewed with the help of the 3 I’s. You will get caught in the whirlwind of your ideas much like the kaka in this Finolex fans ad which went viral and is still being forwarded on WhatsApp and Facebook.
At work, go through all the ideas that you discarded because it didn’t feel like the time was right. You will find an idea there which will help your project move forward.
Relationships will be supportive and provide you with all the love that you need to find that breakthrough that you need and want.
Oct 24 – Nov 22
“It isn’t necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia,” said Frank Zappa. This week won’t give you much time for nostalgia but there will be a lot of paperwork — documentation, filing for reimbursements, invoices, everything that you were avoiding thinking it’s the end of the world. The other thing that comes with the feeling of doing what you’re avoiding is impulsive and defensive motormouth. And Mercury enables both so it’s better to be careful. The former can make your work life easy and the latter can make both your work and personal life bleh.
The cards send you The Knight Of Pentacles. She’s a Hollywood star who will help you navigate the motormouth situation with much ease. She will help you navigate silence, freedom and compromises without feeling burdened by your own negative thoughts.
The Knight Of Pentacles asks you to relax a little. She asks you to focus on the shape of your dreams and work on them than feel cornered by all the work you have on your plate and lash out at the people around you. Your truth won’t become any less true just because you don’t say it in a hurtful way.
Nov 23 – Dec 21
Dhanu beta, Mercury trine your decan means it’s time to open all the blueprints and plans for your life and go through them with a fine-toothed comb. There will be details that will make themselves visible that you were not able to see earlier. Also, because it’s a fine-toothed comb, you will find blood-sucking lice if there are any. Don’t worry about them too much. That was the idea all along. To find the smallest of details to fix or enhance to make your plans sharper and better.
This is a great week to discuss your career and work plans with people with you work with and your life plans with people you love. They will step into your shoes and help you where you need help in getting closer to what you want in life.
Because you’ve opened your life up like that on a whiteboard or a big table, The 9 Of Cups is here to remind you that you’re in a vulnerable space. Don’t forget to add self-care to your days as you stare at your innards. She asks you to meet the people you plan to discuss your life with over shopping, over wine and pizza, over music playing at a gentle volume, over life in its most pleasant forms.
Dec 22 – Jan 20
Mergoats, this is the week you emerge out of your deep dives into your subconscious and make yourself useful to everyone out there who needs you. The Saturn retrograde will make you feel very conscious of your every action and there might be some sadnesses and fears that will make you want to go back into the water but resist that urge.
The cards send you The 4 Of Pentacles and she’s here to provide you all the help you need in using all the tools at your disposal in the best ways that you can. Listen to her and you’ll come out feeling stronger and more confident.
At work, you will be a part of a lot more meetings than you’d like. It’s okay if you don’t feel like contributing to them like an extrovert. Just make sure you take a lot of notes and then discuss them with whoever from that team that you’re most comfortable with.
Relationships will be difficult because being resourceful in relationships implies being able to open yourself up with all the warmth and kindness that you can muster. Tell your loved ones about your handicap this week. They’ll understand and take only the help you can offer.
Jan 21 – Feb 18
Have you heard the story of Narcissus – that dude who broke Echo’s heart and then fell so madly in love with his own reflection that he became a damn plant? This week, your biggest strength – your bucket of water – will be your biggest threat, waterbaby. While Mercury enables communication for most folk, for you Mercury can make you talk to yourself a lot more.
This week, you risk falling into a spiral of selfish thoughts, the ones that make you think of yourself and the only voice you hear and talk to is the voice in your head. Especially when you’ve spent an incredible amount of time just staring at your own reflection AND talking to yourself. The only personal opinions you have are about yourself. This means that every time you open your mouth to express them, you will sound full of yourself. You’re bound to make all colleagues and even friends, lovers or family members yawn.
But you don’t need to worry as long as you listen to The Knight Of Wands. He asks you to investigate the voids — where other people should have been — that have formed in your head because of selfishness. Don’t get lost in your privilege, use it as an intention to help others.
Feb 19 – Mar 20
Paaplet, you know that only dead fish smell fishy, right? In the sea, where all the different fish and mammals that look like fish swim, there’s no smell. There’s only the truth and beauty of the ocean — your subconscious. This is the week, you find your inner truth and your inner beauty and project it onto the world with the help of two lovelies.
Number one. The full moon in the sky from June 28th. It’s powers are going to lurk around till July 12th. It is going to give you all the energy and courage you need to change the world and make it look at the truth and willingness to break free from that fishy smell that’s been lurking around.
Number two. The Emperor. He is the card that helps you bring all the layers of your consciousness together and come to that one truth that you need to arrive at to rinse off the stench of lies and death off you.
At work and in relationships, share your thoughts with everyone you love and envision the still calmness of the beautiful full moon as you do that. Don’t flutter and jump like a dying fish as you scream and mumble. That will only seem to others like they’re fake prophecies.
Mar 21 – Apr 20
Ram-lila, this week is going to bring in a lot of conflict and arguments at work as well as in your personal relationships. But Mercury asks you to do nothing to avoid them. Get into them with as much kindness that you can.
Don’t give into your ram-like instincts and charge at people though. The possibility of that happening is very high, mostly because Mars is sitting opposite Mercury. This combination of argumentative atmosphere and Martian aggression will lead to you obsessing over things when you’re alone. I’d recommend getting into doing things like playing games on your phone, solving puzzles, or anything that uses your brain power.
The cards send you The Chariot. The Chariot is nothing but swagger personified. She will help you access a higher self that will allow you to meditate and be diplomatic in this argumentative space and reminds you that the self has no reason to lash out.
At work, let yourself learn new ways of managing your team and people than let your anger get in the way. In relationship arguments, don’t forget that you are friends, family or lovers with someone because the thing that holds you together is love. As long as you remember that, everything will be fine.
Apr 21 – May 21
Bull-u beta, the thing about this week is that every situation is going to feel like you’re going to be at a fork and there will be at least two paths in front of you. This reminds me of the old running gag from Pankaj Kapur starrer Hindi sitcom Office Office called “Do baatein”, where no matter what Mussadi (Kapur) chooses, the outcome will be his work not getting done unless he bribes the officials.
I’m not saying life is as simple where you can bribe your way out of the fork you’ll be jammed in. But The 2 Of Pentacles asks you to not force yourself to make a choice. You can always take a step back to learn more, educate yourself. Delay the choices you need to make as much as possible.
At work, it’ll be easy to either ask someone above you to make the call if you’re feeling unsure. It might look bad on your part but what’s point of working with a team if sometimes you can’t fail to be your best.
In relationships, it will be best if you don’t push yourself or your partners to make a tough choice. Why not spend the week talking about things? After all, relationships are also about being there for each other.
May 22 – June 21
Between the arguments and compromises coming your way this week (Mercury opposite Mars) and sheer love waiting for you next week (Venus square your decan), this is the week you have to find balance and satisfaction. Else the love coming at you next week will just feel bitter and wrong.
This is the week to figure out what you want and need from your work life and whether you’re getting it or not. If you aren’t then it’s time to start thinking about where do you go from here. In relationships, you are going to feel a little edgy about the people in your life. You might not be sure if they love you or not. While next week will show you everything you need to know about love, this is the week to not worry about it.
The cards send you The 10 Of Pentacles — who walks the tightrope of all that she doesn’t know with much ease and comfort. She will help you see stable ground where it is and help you plant your feet there, then help you celebrate if you see abundance of joy in your life or find community and love in times of scarcity.