The week ahead beckons,
and we need to be ready for it to feel right.
For our specially feminist horoscopes, our resident tarot reader Madam Zeenat reads the New World Tarot Deck, which envisions a world where justice relies on respect and revolutionary love. And this week, the tarot images are by Katina Rose. Written by Jugal Mody.
July 9-July 15, 2018
This week, Madam Zeenat talks about cooking on pyaar ki dheemi aanch, eating daal without tadka, problems caused in farsight due to inaccuracies in data, and flying on autopilot.
June 22 – July 22
Kekdu, marinated and tayyar to be cooked in Venus ki dheemi aanch? It’s coming even if you’re not. If tayyar to have your heart cooked on that dheemi aanch: Close relationships will get tighter. New ones will show up. Hugs and kisses will actually heal wounds. Shopping for clothes and make-up and art will go splendidly.
Plus The Knight Of Cups is here to help you let the flames of Venus go past your shell and let yourself be coddled by affection while asking you to stay grounded. He wants you to unleash a celebration and explore what your insides are truly asking for.
If not tayyar, negative side effects of Venus ki flames can be as Kajol correctly sang it in DDLJ, “Kahin pe nigaahein, kahin pe nishaana. Chhodo bhi tum chhodo ab gaaoge kya gaana?” Close relationships pe padegi maar. New ones will hurt old ones. Hugs and kisses might just stay hugs and kisses. You will end up buying clothes, make-up and art that you don’t feel anything for.
This is where The Knight Of Cups is truly important. He wants to hold your hand as he escorts you out of the possibly toxic situation you’re in. He’s a listener, so talk. To your best friends, closest partners and if nobody is available, then your therapist.
July 23 – Aug 23
If you’ve ever lived in the Delhi NCR region, you must have seen hoardings in any of the older markets that say, “Sale Hee Sale! Pants Hee Pants! Skirts Hee Skirts!” So dear Sher Hee Sher, this week, you’re going to be full of Ideas Hee Ideas! Visions Hee Visions! Creativity Hee Creativity! But so many visions, ideas and creative thoughts also come with insecurities, the same ones that come to you when you’re crossing a threshold, from a place of inertia and comfort into something else. Will you be able to execute them? Will you be able to deliver on them?
This is mostly because of two things. Your head will be up Uranus. (I will never stop making these jokes.) That will bring about tons of disruptions and all of them will need you to think out of the box. And to that aid comes The Page Of Pentacles.
At work, you will be killing it this week, finding solutions nobody even thought of. So don’t be afraid to jump into kaunsa bhi and kiska bhi problem you spot.
In relationships, people will be glad you’re with them because this week, you’ll be full of surprises and givings that will fill them to their heart’s content.
Aug 24 – Sept 22
My favourite song from the 1982 hit movie Satte Pe Satta, “Pyaar humein kis mod pe laaya”, is about love, romance and fun. But my favouritest parts of the song are when Kishore Kumar, RD Burman, Bhupinder Singh, Sapan Chakravorty and Gulshan Bawra are harmonising. That’s what this week is going to be like for you. Venus brings in the love, romance and fun but trined with both Uranus and Saturn, there’s going to be added peace and harmony.
To top it off, the cards send you Temperance. She’s the queen of balance and patience. She ensures that your self-worth is not tangled up in validation from people you love or the taste of your favourite addictions. She’s all about letting go of the ego, forgiving yourself and others and approaching life with unfettered joy.
Work will go smoothly and all your colleagues will find you charming and fun. You’ll all be singing as you cut through mountains of work in a colourful jeep. Some of you might even consider stunts while on the jeep.
Relationships will come with harmony so if you’re someone who likes drama ka tadka with your friends, lovers and family, iss haftay daal tadkay ke binaa hi khaa lo.
Sept 23 – Oct 23
This Saturn transit that’s been causing imbalances in some parts of your life will see a break this week with Venus trining Saturn. Put down the armour of patience and the sword of persistence that you’ve been carrying like one of those hot, naked, photoshopped dudes from 300 and take a few deep breaths. Maybe go under the waterfall and cool off. Don’t worry, photoshop is not like bodypaint, it won’t wash off.
This week, The Star is here to ask you to forget the drama and trauma of the year so far and rejuvenate. While under the waterfall, allow some #showerthoughts to enter your brain. Maybe you’ve been carrying the burdens wrong, maybe after this week when Saturn becomes heavier again, you’ll figure out some physics and use levers and pulleys and whatnot.
In your work life, you’ll find simpler and more efficient ways of working. It can be anything from figuring out the perfect break time to work time ratio to that Excel macro that will solve everything.
Relationships will see easier ways of being this week. Expressing everything on your mind doesn’t always help, just being around each other should be enough. Don’t hesitate in expressing your love physically if you feel it will help.
Oct 24 – Nov 22
With a partial solar eclipse on July 12, this week begins with the sun and the moon being exactly opposite your co-parental planet Pluto. This makes you vulnerable to self-doubt and anxiety, which are really tatti feelings especially when you have exciting plans and life changes on your plate. Self-doubt and anxiety sometimes make you lash out or unload at the ones you love and work with.
But don’t worry, The 2 Of Cups is here to remind you that sometimes all it takes to remember that you have love inside you is that one timely smile, glance or wink. And then for that moment, you’re at peace with yourself and others around you. Use that moment to motivate yourself to step away from lashing out.
At work, you might end up having communication snafus because you and your colleagues might be on different trains of thought. Grab your lunch together and talk it out. In case, one of you gets too passionate, don’t let that missed fast train demotivate anyone.
Relationships might feel difficult but there I’d say, just give into The 2 Of Cups as in give yourself to love. As long as both sides don’t forget that they love each other, you’ll come through.
Nov 23 – Dec 21
Dhanushwali madam, mythologically speaking, you’re a great healer and hunter. The hunter side of you gives you a keen and awesome farsight. This farsight is going to be further enabled by Mercury squaring with a retrograding Jupiter. The unfortunate part being that the retrograding Jupiter might enable you to see only something dark from the future and that might shake you up a little.
The 2 Of Pentacles wants to tell you that even scientists sometimes get some things wrong as they go farther from where we are in time and space. So consider every intersection and check for inaccuracies in your current data.
At work, you might be having visions of doom. That might make you see parts of the project that fail but not the parts that work. Or only the worst case scenario. Take a deep breath, it’s alright. All it means ki har kadam phook phook ke rakho.
In relationships, all you might see are the ones that don’t work and that will make you freak out and not focus on the ones that are currently working. Once again, take a deep breath. It’s alright. Look for love around you for now, not somewhere in the distant future.
Dec 22 – Jan 20
With your home planet Saturn playing in your home constellation, you are the most you if not the best you. (The best you is usually when Sun is in your sign, which is your birth month.) This means that all your goods and bads are at the best and worst. The good thing though is that Venus is in Virgo and is in trine with your Saturn. This means that your loving abilities are at their most wholesome.
The 7 Of Pentacles is like a grandma who may have been running the family and the world around her but she also has a personal art hobby that kept her going. The one that everyone around her remembers her for because all of them have something from her that makes them smile. (My grandmum made quilts. She even sold them at one point to help run the house.)
At work, remember all your appraisal conversations. According to your colleagues, what are your best qualities? Focus on them. In your free time, find a creative hobby. One of my ex-colleagues liked to draw owls on the office whiteboards.
In relationships, it’s okay to let your negative emotions take a backseat. Just ensure that you make the most of this wholesome love that you have to give.
Jan 21 – Feb 18
Have you heard Eddy Grant’s 1982 hit Electric Avenue? The chorus goes: “We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, And then we’ll take it higher.” If not, then you should play it right away. It’s got this great beat and you won’t be able to not move to it. Because that’s what Venus in Virgo trining with Uranus in Taurus is going to be like. Full of electric change that will bring about a celebration of your originality. So be prepared to dance.
The cards send you The Sun to remind you of your childhood enthusiasm to dance to just about anything. And make you jump every time Electric Avenue on loop restarts and Grant screams, “Boy!”
At work, you will feel like a genius because you will bring that “out of the box” thinking (that everybody only talks about) to whatever project you’ll touch. Don’t overdo it though, warna you’ll end up like that dude in the Centre Shock ad.
In relationships, grab hold of your loved ones and do something totally wacky with them. I know that the idea of wacky is relative. So find your own wacky, machi. It can be something different for the different people in your life — from friends to family to lovers.
Feb 19 – Mar 20
Fishita, this week there’s a new moon in Cancer. This means that even when swimming at the deepest depths of your subconscious, you might not find the answers you’re looking for and emotions will continue to fuck with your thought-streams.
The Hermit is here to help transform all this pain into magic. Magic is nothing but emotional support that will help you get through the week. Remember songs that made you feel at the top of the world. Put them in a playlist and keep them on a loop. Listen to your deepest food cravings and get that food. (If for health reasons — not allergies — you can’t, just a spoon won’t kill you. Keep a friend around to stop you from eating more.)
Work will be difficult because you might end up being attached to solutions and directions which may not necessarily be the right ones. This is the time to outsource. Find a colleague, a friend who you can bounce your thoughts off
Relationships will be confusing because sometimes they’re not all about spending time together and sharing emotions. Sometimes, they’re just about doing stuff for (even if not with) each other. So don’t worry about not feeling the love, it’s there only. This week will be a little like that.
Mar 21 – Apr 20
This is going to be a slow week for you, Ram-ila kaki. It’s going to be full of hard work that you won’t be able to crash through with your usual ram-like strength and determination. Thankfully, all the hard work will come with knowledge and growth — both outside of you as well as inside of you. The other constant but good part about this week, as The 3 Of Wands is here to remind you: Changes. And good ones unless you just want to change into an asshole.
The 3 Of Wands is here to tell you that we’re the masters of our own well-being. And we can’t thrive unless we actively seek the knowledge that makes us better. It’s not just going to come walking to you.
At work, you will see that the only way to get past a problem is research and iterations. You’ll have to make a few till you get to the other side.
This is also a good week to work on your relationships. So don’t work overtime. Find time for your loved ones. If there are some difficult conversations to be had, have them. Open yourself to criticism from your loved ones. Either side being right or wrong doesn’t matter.
Apr 21 – May 21
Dekho milan ki baela, don’t get too carried away by anything this week. With Venus in Virgo, pyar aur vyapar, dono ke saare shortcuts are under maintenance. So if anyone is showing you a shortcut, trust Zee, it’s a Roadrunner-Wile E. Coyote situation. You’ll be falling off a cliff before you know it. Toh don’t try to go all bullish this week.
The good part about Venus being in Virgo is that there is no drama waiting for you this week. Not at work, nor in your relationships. Try not to create any for free. It’s an easy week that you can let go autopilot. So do that. Go out of the cabin, talk to some passengers, take a bite of somebody’s dessert, yada, yada.
The Moon is here to help you with exactly that. This is a good time to make lists. Of your fears, of your impossible dreams, of your restricted expressions. So in better times, you’ll know how to handle them. And in worse times, you’ll learn better than to lash out. This is a good time to start sorting out your intuitions and your anxieties. And don’t forget to eat at least one glorious meal this week.
May 22 – June 21
The moon is doing a fly-by in your sign at the beginning of this week. This means that this week begins with having lots and lots of ideas flying by your head. Wait, wait, wait. And don’t forget to hydrate. Try adding some lime and pudina to your ice water. Don’t worry if you feel like taking a nap as well.
When you wake up, you will remember that Mercury is in Leo. Don’t panic. This is good news. This means that you can actually go at your ideas with the determination of a Leo and communicate them with the ease and clarity of a you. Just don’t let the lion of ego eat your tongue.
The Queen Of Cups is here to join the celebrations. She follows her heart and shows up at gatherings to provide more light and joy. She’s all about helping you enjoy the truth and she promises to hold your hand every step of the way.
Work is obviously going to be a cakewalk. Like going to a shop, picking a cake on the shelf, paying money for it and coming back and smashing your face into it. So enjoy that.
Relationships will be fun and light. There will be picnics and dates and movies. Buy a big hat and sunglasses for the picnics, jewellery for the dates and caramel popcorn for the movies.