By Ila Ananya

We just heard that Daniel Dopps, a Kansas-based chiropractor has come up with a brand new product for women. It’s called ‘Mensez’, an adhesive “lipstick” for women to be able to glue their labia shut while they’re on their period. Really. We first saw this reported on Bust, and apparently this isn’t a joke. Forbes even has an interview with the dude.

There’s a Facebook post about this that went viral. “Have you ever woke (sic) up with your lips stuck together? It didn’t hurt and it was kind of fun,” Dopps begins. So anyway, because that was “kind of fun,” the chiropractor decided he’d come up with the lipstick, the “revolutionary safer solution”, because he knows what’s best for women. Dopps says that peeing will unstick the labia, so after that women just have to reapply the Mensez lipstick. Does the man know there’s a difference between a urethra and vagina?

The Forbes interview is hilarious and completely bizarre. Dopps unsurprisingly comes off as having no understanding of the female anatomy. He says, “It makes more sense than putting a plug up there,” and that, “we’re using the vagina like a bladder just like tampons do.” We don’t even know what to say about his vagina is like a bladder analogy. And that’s not how tampons work.

Of course, when everyone laughed and decided it was insane, Dopps even commented, “Yes, I am a man, and you as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t”. And the reason women didn’t (apart from the fact that the lipstick idea is completely mental, of course), is that, “Women are focussed on and distracted by your period 25 percent of the time, making them far less productive than they could be. Women tend to be far more creative than men, but their periods that stifle them and play with their heads.” Because yes, women want a ‘creative’ solution like this one.

“I realise that Mensez is very different and may take time for some women to work through the idea. My dream is to have women free of distractions, the psychological issues that goes along with their periods, and see what they develop.” Dopps says graciously. We’re sure Dopps would only tell us we don’t understand this because we’re distracted 25 percent of the time, but since men are supposed to be so alert, somebody please tell us what his excuse is.