By Eena Meena
Note:Wondering what this is all about? Yesterday we ran an essay by Crimson Kitty Kutty called Sex Sucks for Me and Now I’ll Tell You Why I’m Not Doing it Again.
I just read this, which is all about the bad sex that women undergo and that men inflict and phalana dimkana. So indignant did this article make me that I put aside my current drug of choice, to wave my hand around frantically on the internet saying “I HAVE GREAT SEX! It is very straight, very great sex!”
Let me be clear – I agree with you, Writer of this Article: there is lots of shitty porn in the world that portrays women and their orgasms and whatnot in hilariously untrue terms. There are, I’m sure, lots of men in the world that think that they are Fantastic At Sex because they can perfectly imitate the men in aforementioned shitty porn. But you do not need to go looking on some niche site, or sites that are specifically directed at women, to find really sexy, really good porn that shows women having a great time and men enjoying themselves along with. You just go to YouPorn and it’s there on page 1: women getting eaten out by men who seem to be enjoying themselves (and let me tell you, they look like they’re fucking good at it); men using their tongues on other parts of women’s bodies, including, unsurprisingly, their tits; men slow-fucking women, because, again unsurprisingly, this feels good for both parties. It’s all there, and I would add links to prove it, but then I’d never get this finished.
And yes, I agree with you – there is a lot of violent porn that involves men being cruel to women and being violent and all of that, but why you gotta diss people who are into niche type sexy-times in order to make your point about fucked up gonzo-porn and torture-porn? I mean, okay, you don’t like BDSM or rape-y roleplay, but I’m sure you can tell the difference between and among all of these things, no?
But forget about the porn. It’s not really important; it’s just that it’s great when women discover that porn can be exciting for them too, and I’m happy to help fill up your spank bank. What’s more important is this declaration that men are bad at sex. You seem to know the wrong men, lady. Or maybe I know all the right ones, because all of them are all about inclusivity in their sexy-times. It’s not a party until everyone is having fun, y’know what I’m saying? They like eating pussy; they like gratifying us, their partners, and hearing our satisfaction; they want to know what works for us and what doesn’t; they, fundamentally, like women. Am I just a lucky girl, or are you just being belligerent? Perhaps a bit of both. But either way – and I’m all about fighting the patriarchy and the lack of gender equality etc – all of this crapping on men and their inability at good sexing is not going to make anyone want to be better at it if they aren’t doing it right.
And let me tell you, my orgasms, they are many things, but rarely are they super chill. They are often loud and spectacular, involve lots of writhing, and if they’re 7 seconds long, then man, those are the longest seven seconds I ever experience (over and over, and over…)
This is not to say that all women have orgasms like this, or that all of my orgasms are like this. I’m saying that your orgasms and mine, they can co-exist – there’s all kinds of orgasms just like there are all kinds of women, and some women do, in fact, come through vaginal penetration. Some women don’t, but enjoy vaginal penetration so much that they’ll forego the destination for the journey, if you catch my drift. And still other women may not enjoy vaginal sex, but get off on making their partners feel good, and so they grow to like it. So maybe cool it with all the blanket statements about what gets women off and what doesn’t?
But you’re right – The Patriarchy makes it all worse for all genders. And even you know that it’s no one dude’s fault, so what use in blaming a spate of bad lovers for the fault of a system that is not built, really, in anyone’s favour? (I mean yes, thoda bohot in favour of men, but I’m sure, at some point, even they get bored of sex that’s essentially masturbating inside a vagina instead of a hand)
Anyway. I’m sorry the bad sex has put you off. But you know the saying, you gotta kiss a bunch of frogs before you find one that licks your clit just right.
May 31, 2016 at 9:54 am
theladiesfinger dammit someone beat me to it.
May 31, 2016 at 9:54 am
TheRestlessQuil You write one too, Miss Quill. Please?
May 31, 2016 at 9:56 am
theladiesfinger donesky
May 31, 2016 at 9:57 am
TheRestlessQuil yaay
May 31, 2016 at 9:58 am
Thank you! TheRestlessQuil
May 31, 2016 at 10:55 am
theladiesfinger ha ha ha lololol the last line is a quote for posterity parodevi
May 31, 2016 at 3:27 pm
Me_goodfella Arre yaar, every woman has her views and experiences but in general, Indian men don’t know what to do in bed theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:28 pm
Me_goodfella that is because they watch crappy porn, don’t ask women what they want n don’t understand how her body works theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:29 pm
Me_goodfella Most people in India still want to/marry as virgins. Good sex is all about experience with different partners@theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:30 pm
boogerworm theladiesfinger focus on what the article says. 1. There is good porn too. 2. Experiences differ 3. Kiss a few frogs…
May 31, 2016 at 3:30 pm
Me_goodfella The zoned out while reading it. Sounds like a rant and one person’s view without mentioning instances theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:31 pm
boogerworm theladiesfinger plus don’t blame Indian men, we grew up the same society, with no knowledge of sex except shitty porn sites
May 31, 2016 at 3:32 pm
Me_goodfella Sure, women too. Most women have never had an orgasm. If you don’t know your body, your partner can’t theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:43 pm
boogerworm theladiesfinger yeah. That’s terrible. But don’t give up on the idea of pleasure. Sooner or later, It ll come around.
May 31, 2016 at 3:48 pm
Me_goodfella It will be a sad life if I did. I have had good sex, lots of it. But there is always potential for better theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:50 pm
boogerworm theladiesfinger haha. Exactly my point. So give credit where you should and strive for more. 😉 cheers!
May 31, 2016 at 3:52 pm
Me_goodfella But in general, men don’t have a clue about a woman’s anatomy and need to be taught. Not very exciting theladiesfinger
May 31, 2016 at 3:53 pm
boogerworm theladiesfinger we are back to square one I guess. Hahahahaha. To each his own.
June 1, 2016 at 8:21 am
theladiesfinger I am jealous as hell of you Eena Meena. I took me a long time to like sex. It sux less now but man it takes too long.
June 2, 2016 at 2:14 pm
I agree with you but calling the other woman who hates the inequality in sex belligerent is so shit. Its really great that many more of us are having good sex now and for women with men, it is nice that many of them give a shit but the orgasm gap continues to exist. I don’t know what the stats are in India but I’d say its at least equal to the American stats where more than 50% of women have not experienced orgasm. I mean. What was the point of your article?? Just literally to be like, don’t shit on men, I like sex? (i really hope that does not translate to: don’t worry men, i still like sex and you too?)
June 2, 2016 at 4:51 pm
We (like the right frogs) live to please. djoiiii
June 2, 2016 at 5:02 pm
theladiesfinger India loves you djoiiii
June 2, 2016 at 5:59 pm
theladiesfinger One day, I want to write something fun like this. One day. (If you accept that is!)
June 2, 2016 at 6:25 pm
djoiiii yes of course! Please write to us at fingerzine at gmail dot com.
June 3, 2016 at 4:30 pm
#pleaseRT #ForScience
July 8, 2016 at 9:58 pm
Dear Eena Meena,
While your article is technically true and reflects my experience, I have to say I enjoy Crimson Kitty Kutty’s perspective and belligerence more 😀 It just feels good to listen to someone rant about crap we’ve all been through anyway and I think the last bit of her opening paragraph showed enough of self-awareness to not have to write a defense of men (who, I’m sorry, do not get extra credit for knowing the things they’re supposed to know anyway in this age of freely available information.)